I… Alright, I don’t like this plot. Not “I don’t like this comic/you/this character”, but this plot. This is something a 14yo Naruto Fanfic writer would write. And I’ve read up to here, I know you can do better, but make no mistake these plots are very boilerplate with very, VERY few exceptions. Unless the villain wins, and it breaks Auto in a very real, very emotional way, then you are essentially copy-pasting a plot from 60% of Japanese television. Here’s how this arc ends: A. The characters manage to best her at the last moment using some macguffin/power of friendship/power inside, thus saving the day. B. The “Rival” sees value in the protagonist/realizes friendship is stronger/ the BBEG is too evil, and thus changes sides. C. The characters get a lucky break and manage to take the Arcana Sphere from the “Rival” during a moment of the “Rival”‘s weakness. Tada! And sure, you may have your own twist to the proceedings, but in the end the arc is the same. I know you work hard, and I know you’re intelligent, so please, PLEASE, don’t be predictable and lazy. You’re doing too good to crumple now. You have an interesting world, with interesting rules, and as such they demand more than a run-of-the-mill story.
Sorry if I sound like an ass. I have enjoyed the story so far. I know that the internet sucks, and having people tell you what to do, especially creatively, is a downright nightmare, but I feel the need to criticize the direction that I see this going. Your artwork is phenomenally better than when you started, and your stories have thus far had clever writing and unique dealings within the plots contained.
Huh, I wasn’t predicting any of these listed outcomes! I was just predicting this new girl to have her own plan, one that gets her ahead of everyone else involved, especially her employer. I’m reading her as more of a wildcard than someone on ‘the bad guy’s side’… and that’s not even getting into the bit where ‘the bad guys’ are more at odds with each other than they are with the protagonists. I’m just not reading her as a direct opponent, ‘rival’ or not.
RSS
All of the backlog in a single day!
When you’re really disappointed there isn’t MOAR NAO, you know it’s good stuff.
I has them feelz.
Thanks for reading! 😀
I… Alright, I don’t like this plot. Not “I don’t like this comic/you/this character”, but this plot. This is something a 14yo Naruto Fanfic writer would write. And I’ve read up to here, I know you can do better, but make no mistake these plots are very boilerplate with very, VERY few exceptions. Unless the villain wins, and it breaks Auto in a very real, very emotional way, then you are essentially copy-pasting a plot from 60% of Japanese television. Here’s how this arc ends: A. The characters manage to best her at the last moment using some macguffin/power of friendship/power inside, thus saving the day. B. The “Rival” sees value in the protagonist/realizes friendship is stronger/ the BBEG is too evil, and thus changes sides. C. The characters get a lucky break and manage to take the Arcana Sphere from the “Rival” during a moment of the “Rival”‘s weakness. Tada! And sure, you may have your own twist to the proceedings, but in the end the arc is the same. I know you work hard, and I know you’re intelligent, so please, PLEASE, don’t be predictable and lazy. You’re doing too good to crumple now. You have an interesting world, with interesting rules, and as such they demand more than a run-of-the-mill story.
Sorry if I sound like an ass. I have enjoyed the story so far. I know that the internet sucks, and having people tell you what to do, especially creatively, is a downright nightmare, but I feel the need to criticize the direction that I see this going. Your artwork is phenomenally better than when you started, and your stories have thus far had clever writing and unique dealings within the plots contained.
A big fan – Ina
Thanks for the feedback, Inaquian! I do have a twist or two planned for this chapter and hopefully they come out the way I hope 🙂
Honesty? I hope it’s devastating. But I would rather fell sorrow, rather than hollow, so maybe I’m just completely mad.
Huh, I wasn’t predicting any of these listed outcomes! I was just predicting this new girl to have her own plan, one that gets her ahead of everyone else involved, especially her employer. I’m reading her as more of a wildcard than someone on ‘the bad guy’s side’… and that’s not even getting into the bit where ‘the bad guys’ are more at odds with each other than they are with the protagonists. I’m just not reading her as a direct opponent, ‘rival’ or not.
Oh… My…
…
GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL! POKÉMON!